Judging by the the title, I bet most of you reading this thought I would be talking about sex or other inappropriate things. Well you are wrong! This blog is full of dirty little secrets, meaning stories about my childhood and some of the crazy things I did. Some are about how, I thought I could out smart my mom. Some are about just in general how dumb kids logic is. Of course I can’t fit each story in one blog, so if you like this story I will continue to tell you more.
I’ll start this story off by saying I was five people, so don’t judge me. We lived in an apartment building on the third floor of a low income development called, The Valley. I’m not sure what time of night it is because I didn’t look. I’m in my bed and I hear these rumbling noises. I don’t feel anything by the way, but something told me to get out of bed and go to the bathroom. I get there and low and behold, I have pooped my pants. Don’t remember what I ate that night but obviously I had Diarrhea. For some reason I knew exactly what to do (In my five year old logical thinking) so I took the soiled underwear off, washed up and put on new ones. I couldn’t throw the underwear in the trash because they smelled like shit, and my mom would notice. So I took them, and threw them outside my bedroom window into the courtyard. We lived in an apartment so I knew no one would suspect it was me and my mom would never know.
But, after going back to sleep, I woke up again with the exact same problem. So what did I do? I repeated the exact same steps from before and threw those out the window too. When I woke up the next morning, it was like a regular day. The sun was shining and no one knew that I had pooped my pants. I get up and go to the window to look outside, and I could have shit my pants again for what I saw. Two of my friends and neighbors have my soiled draws on a stick saying, “Bre, Look at these! Ewwwww.” I was so horrified. I don’t know why I didn’t expect kids my age to find this funny. What did I do? I played it off and laughed and said ew, right along with them. They’re just as disgusting for playing with my shitty draws. However, still till this day, no one knew that those were mine and I got away with it. The end.
If you want to hear more dirty little secret stories of crazy things I did as a kid, comment bellow. Thank you.